Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Walk it out
I'm thankful today! I'm so incredibly thankful for the love of God and the sacrifice of his son! I'm so thankful for the voice of the Holy Spirit and the intimacy I have with Christ. I'm so thankful that God will take the time to meet with me, little 'ole me where I'm at and minister to me.
The other day (Saturday to be exact) I woke up feeling yucky! Have you ever felt spiritually gross? I did! I had really been allowing my flesh to take over the days prior and my husband and I had been in a bad fight the day before! I had not slept well and I woke up desiring time with the Lord and needed to be washed in the word! I told Jonathan I was going to spend some time with God and retreated to our bedroom where I stayed for an hour and a half. In that time the presence of the Lord fell and I was literally wrapped in it. I had christian radoi playing and every song that played related to how I was feeling and what I was praying about. It was like I could feel the arms of Jesus around me. It was such a sweet time of worship and after I confessed sin and emerged clean I then just sat in his presense and without saying a word worshipped him. I think sometimes the scripture that says "be still and know that I am God" is really what he's after for us and we should spend more time silent before Him and allowing our heart's to communicate for us.
Sunday was a big blessing as well. The message was so encouraging and worship was wonderful. By the second service I really began to feel the spirit of God around me. I so love singing on the praise team and being able to enjoy two song services before 11:00, one at 8:30 and one at 10:30! What a kick start to my week!
I've been going through a spiritual desert. I've just felt so disconnected from God and didn't know why. As often as I work to put God first and spend time with him everyday, I don't always follow through with what I'm told to do in scripture. I don't always walk out what I read and God really dealt with me this past weekend about how that was where my disconnect was at. I was reading and soaking in all of these instructions that I wouldn't walk out. I have to remind myself that I've grown in a lot of area's but for me my stumbling block is my mouth. I run off at it if I get mad. I mean I can tear someone up...so Christ like, I know :-/ and I am bad about allowing life to effect my every mood which in turn affects those around me. I was allowing my flesh to control me way too often and saying "well I know what it says to do...but I feel differently right now and can't..." Well, as God reminded me, I CAN because he gives me the strength to do so. So my goal is to begin to really live out what I read in the Bible and not just know it and ignore it when I don't feel like it. . I've placed sticky notes around my house that say "afm, ( as for me) I will be a doer and not just a hearer of the Word of God." I placed them where I will see them 100 times in a day or where I find myself tempted to not walk something out, like at the TV or computer. It works for me because I'm visual and if I'm mad and about to run off at the mouth and see a sticky note with that reminder on it, it grabs my attention and reminds me of how I'm supposed to act.
I'm not perfect, I'm so terribly flawed but this is my ambition and I pray that I will see myself growing in the Word and catching myself walking it out more often then not. :)
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:22